Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize