She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
