Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
