please come you make the beer taste better
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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