hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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