I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
