i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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