she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
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i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
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struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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