What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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