Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
