Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
