I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize