The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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