i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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