I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
