THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
