how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
