What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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