well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
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