I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
