He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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