Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
