im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
