doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
