the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
