Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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