I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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