I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
