he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
my poor anus
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
