Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
