The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
