Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
