I feel like abortions should bother me more
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
