i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
