Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
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is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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