I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
