he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
