We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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