She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
