That's intense
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
