I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
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I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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