I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
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My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
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We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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