WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
