I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize