I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
