I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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