so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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