I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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