im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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