i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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