she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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