You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
