Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
