i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
