Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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