why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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