Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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