he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
