Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize