I think my vagina is haunted
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
