My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
