Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
