Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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