Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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