im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
last night I used snow as a chaser
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
