I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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