Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
