Swine flu. Run for my life!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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