i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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